A New Me: SHINE IN ‘09

If you want to spend your summer’s reading deep deep books about our education/control system, read this book. The reason I say your summer’s is because as teacher’s that will be the time when you have the most free time and you will need AMPLE time to read and really understand the book. Now don’t get me wrong, my highlighter has been going at it because he says a lot of great things and presents an abundance of new knowledge for me, things I’ve never really thought about. But, it is hard to flow with. it does not progress in manner that’s easy to follow, more so as if the reader should personally just look for information that stands out to them, instead of trying to flow with the book. But I recommend that everyone read this book, at least every TEACHER!!!!

I’m struggling with so many dynamics of this program right now!!! Why am I taking a class, that I never wanted to take in the first place, that has no potential benefit for my future?  The time that I spent with busy work last semester in an effort to gain an endorsement that hasn’t even been approved yet. No, more bluntly put it actually won’t even count towards anything I’ve been working for, and it sucks. I was even threatened with failure of that class last semester because some of my journal pages weren’t “completed”. Although I did end up with an A in the class, all that stress I went through, FOR NOTHING!!!

 Why have I been put in the position of trying to pretend like I’m a real teacher, but I just got to this school in January. Im supposed to actively play a teacher role and implement this entire “thematic unit” on a topic that you say I can pick for myself, but really I can’t because it has to be what the students will be working on at that time. Planning an entire unit where I’m supposed to take over a class that has only known me for 2 months. Not only that, but they have known me as “the student teacher” meaning “she’s not a real teacher”. So, as I execute these lessons I’m being graded on creativity and grandioseness and oh yes, classroom management of the “not a real teacher”!! I’m also being graded on how creative and over the top and out of the box these lessons are but NO ONE except for one professor is assissting me with as of yet (with role reversal of this unit being in 1 1/2 months). Let’s remember people, this is alternative prep, meaning that WE HAVEN’T DONE THIS BEFORE….We need a little more…um…whatcha call it…Scaffolding!! Isn’t that what you teach us…to Scaffold the students!!!

Anyway, with God on my side I can do all things. And the ONLY thing that keeps me going is the fact that I know those kids need me!! They need quality caring teachers like us, so for them it’s all worth it. I just wish I could do my own thing. I’m not really learning anything from anybody except for the kids so I coulda just jumped myself on in there. But, everything happens for a reason!! 

I’ve been having a lot of trouble with this blog stuff, guys. Hopefully you all got the new information I sent about my new domain and you are happily reading this right now. It may appear that I am slacking in the blog department, but the truth is that i have been having problems with logging in. So, I’ve had like 3 different pages within the last 2 months because my password appears to be acting up. As soon as I can figure out a way to change the current password I have (that finally worked after about 10 tries) to something that is easier for me remember, I will be on point with the blogs!!!!

Yet and still, it makes it even harder when a class that meets 3 times has a lot of demands that are somewhat difficult to maintain with other classes that you may have every week. But hey, nobody is complainin’!!

I’m approaching things in a more positive way now that the new year is upon us. For instance, instead of getting stressed and frustrated during various situations I have control over, I simply keep it moving and say “OK”. Here are a few examples: Some unfortunate events happened with me during the last few months of 2008, and I at some point really felt that I would have to quit this program. I became depressed and stressed out to the point where it affected my personal and professional life. However, when I began to think about the circumstances of this event, and how it could have been soooo much worse I can only be thankful. Not only thankful that it wasn’t worse than it was, but thankful because I made it anyway, regardless. Once I realized that I had accomplished such a great thing without really realizing how wonderful and powerful I can be when I put my mind towards something. So, now in 2009 every situation is approached with ease. I refuse to be stressed out over school work, being a teacher, or Georgia State in general. This is a situation that is totally out of my control and the only thing I can do, is get through it. I need to DO WHAT I GOTTA DO TO GET THRU THIS SHIT!!! No worries, No worries, everythang’s gonna be alright!!! 

…and guess what, if I don’t finish this shit, it ain’t the end of the world!

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